Exhibitionist

by Jon Williams

 

The old museum curator spun around and screamed,

            “Don’t touch the exhibits!”

I didn’t know why he was pointing at me. Everyone else had been touching the skeletons. I was just seeing what happened when you moved their arms. They broke. But it was so boring! Why do they fill museums with stuff that just stands there? Why can’t they make the skeletons move around and fight or something? They could even talk?

            I waited until everyone had moved around the corner and tried to put the skeleton’s arm back. I rammed it into place and the whole skeleton fell down, and its other arm got caught on my shirt. We hit the ground with a huge crash.

            “Are you okay?” a voice asked me.

Whoever it was started to help me up. I hoped it wasn’t the old curator. It wasn't - it was the skeleton.

            “Are you alright?” He seemed kind of nice for a skeleton.

            “I’m fine. How are you?” Of course, I was still a little dazed.

            “I’m bored, kid. And I’ve got to go to the toilet. Can you mind my spot?”

The skeleton had been pretty nice considering I broke his arm off, so I said okay.

I stepped up onto the platform. Now, I was the exhibit. Cool. I tried to wave to the class but I couldn’t move my arm. I couldn’t move anything. I called out but no one could hear me. The skeleton picked up my bag.

“Thanks for this, kid. I've been waiting ages to be a person again.”

 

He’d tricked me. That big bag of bones! Now I was stuck here and everybody else was going home.

“Billy!” It was my Dad!

I screamed that I was stuck but he didn’t hear me. Then Dad took the skeleton and put him in the car. He thought the skeleton was me! The curator walked back towards me. I tried to get his attention but I just fell onto the floor. And landed on my head. The curator got angry,

“You skeletons always fall over. Well, this is the last time. I’m throwing you out.”

Before I could say anything he dragged me outside and threw me into the rubbish. How dumb was everyone? It was obvious I wasn’t a skeleton. I had skin. A garbage truck roared around the corner and two garbage men jumped out. It was one of those trucks that crushed the rubbish. And now I was rubbish. Help! One of them grabbed me,

“This is a nice looking skeleton. Let’s stick it on the truck.”

I was saved. And suddenly I was flying through the city on the front of a truck.

Wheeeee! The brakes on the truck squealed and I flew head first into somebody’s garden. I was getting sick of this. Then the garbage men drove off. No! Come back! I have to get… Suddenly there was another voice,

“Oh my God. The garbage men killed someone. Oh no, wait.”

They picked me up. It was my Dad. It was my front yard. I started babbling but he couldn’t hear me. Next thing I knew, I was being dragged down the hall towards my bedroom. He knew it was me. But then I saw the real skeleton on my bed.

 “Dad, where did you find that?” The skeleton called my Dad Dad.

 

“It’s a skeleton, son.”

“I know, I meant... thanks.”

Dad left the room smiling to himself and the skeleton grabbed my arm.

“Hey, kid, I thought I told you to mind my spot.”

He started to pull my arm. I screamed. He jumped back. He could hear me!

“Thanks for swapping lives with me kid. Yours is great! Being a skeleton’s pretty           boring, isn’t it?”

It didn’t sound like he’d give me my life back. I had to trick him.

“No, it’s been really exciting. I just wanted to ask if you could mind this place for          me.”

The skeleton started to laugh, “Sure, kid. If you want me to mind your… Hold on, kid. I can’t move. What have you done to me?”

“It’s alright,” I told him “you’re just minding my place as a skeleton.”

He started screaming that it wasn’t fair but I stuffed an old pair of socks in his mouth and hung him on the door. I realized I’d been wrong;

            Museum exhibits shouldn’t move or talk at all.